Why is it so hard?

Literally no one prepared me for how hard my twenties would be. At school they taught us stuff about earthquakes and Pi, both of which I still don’t understand nor have I used. Tonight I’m experiencing massive WTF am I doing with my life?

I’m 24 and I have already had a mid-twenties life crisis. It was bleak. As my BFF messaged me earlier, ‘Mate life isn’t supposed to be easy at our age, it’s about shit jobs, no money, twatty men and then looking back when you’re 40 and thinking wow I must be a bloody warrior to have got through that!’ I’m not one to wish my life away but, I currently wish I was in my forties. I don’t think I have ever struggled so much with trying to work out who I am and what the hell I’m supposed to do with my life. It only feels like yesterday I was still asking the teacher if I could go to the toilet now I’m expected to make serious life decisions. I’m not mentally prepared for this!

I’m at age where half of my friends are settling down, buying houses and getting engaged and the other half are still getting white girl wasted every weekend, I find myself somewhere in between the two. I’m still learning that tequila is not my friend. I look at my friends getting their lives together and just think ‘why can’t that be me?!’

Social media tells us twenty-somethings that we should be travelling the world, meeting the loves of our lives and building our empires. But it is absolutely okay to be doing none of the above. I love my businesses and I’m proud to say I’ve finally found something that I’m passionate about, enjoy and can actually do. Not everyone is like this though and that is absolutely fine. Everyone’s definition of success is completely different. If you want to work your 9-5 job then go home and binge watch Grey’s Anatomy, it’s okay. Doesn’t mean you’re not working hard, it just means you’re chosing a different lifestyle.

Tonight I’ve been massively plagued by self doubt and just generally thinking what am I doing? After having a mini-meltdown to my mother, who reassured me I’m not destined to be on my own and I will be a great success, it dawned on me that pretty much 99.9% of twenty year olds must have felt like this at some point. Does anyone ever feel like they have their shit together? Ever?

So after a good cry, a bubble bath and an episode of Grey’s Anatomy I decided I’m just going to keep on doing what I’m doing. I’m going to carry on building my empire, making questionable life choices and continue to date twatty men. I’ll deal with the consequences in my thirties and just embrace what happens along the way. Your twenties are all about winging it and having fun.

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